Number One Mom

This weekend is Mother's Day. I'm not one, so its just Sunday.

Actually, its not just another Sunday. I know a few Moms, and two or
three of them are pretty darn special, so I'll be sure to let them
know, come Sunday.

My number one Mom, which happens to be my very own Mom, (I have the
paperwork to prove it, so she can't deny it) is a super lady. By
saying that, I don't mean she wears a cape and flys around saving the
world. Although, I'm sure if the right powers that be asked her to,
she'd give it her best shot. Cape and all.

My Mom tried her best to raise me right, so its not her fault that I'm
a little warped and still immature at the age of thirty-three. She's
still trying to "straighten me out" to this day. I however, still
remain as crooked as a clothesline in a thunderstorm.

Sometimes I wonder why she still keeps me around, and lets me visit,
then I remember, I still owe her money.

One of my Mom's best assets, other than me, is her ability to cook.
Her homemade buttermilk biscuits will make the milk glad it went bad.
Her biscuits will make butter thankful to be butter and gravy,
well,...just gravy.

Yesterday, I ate supper at a friends parents house. His Dad said the
"blessing" before we ate. He used the word "sanctify". "Lord, please
sanctify our food." I thought I knew the meaning of the word, but
asked him anyway. He said he was asking the Lord to bless our food.
So, this is the new word I shall use to describe my Mom's biscuits.
They're sanctified!

Another great asset my Mom has is forgiveness. For instance, when I
was a younger man out mowing the grass and accidentally ran over some
of her flowers with the mower. To me, they appeared to be weeds. No
presence of actual flowers. She informed me that this particular
flower only bloomed once a year. I said, well then its 99% weed. She
informed me I was wrong, and then...forgave me.

Mom also has been blessed with tubs full of patience. Mom has two men
in her life that she loves. Me and my Dad. She's been waiting for
years for both of us to grow up and "behave". She's still waiting. But
she also forgives us. I think.

My Mom is strong. She easily bench presses two eighty-five. No, not
really. By strong, I mean enduring. And by enduring I mean strong. By
strong, I mean she can probably take me in arm wrestling. But what I
really mean is she never gives up. She always loves. She's the only
person in the world, no matter when I call, she always sounds excited
to hear from me. I can't say that about most women that know me. Damn
Caller ID!!

On this Mothers Day, I hope my Mom knows how much I appreciate her. I
hope she knows how much I love her, and I hope she has twenty bucks
she can loan me.