Happy Birthday Sister

Today, and every previous April 2nd for the past thirty-five years,
has been my sister's birthday. She's forty-six.

No, not really. She's thirty-five, which happens to be older than me.
I'm the baby of the family at a mere thirty-three. I suppose that's
why I still wear a diaper on Wednesdays and on most New Year Eve's.

Sister is a fairly decent person. I know, 'cause she told me so. She
once almost whipped this guy's butt in high school, simply because he
wanted to beat the living crap out of me, and frankly, I would have
let him, 'cause I can't fight. I personally think he was just pissed
off because his parents had the nerve and lack of caring people around
them, to name him Quinton. I'm sure today, he is a fine, outstanding,
tax-paying, loyal, janitor somewhere in this fine state.

But see, my sister is like that. She takes up for the people she
loves. I'm fairly certain she didn't vote for Bush.

However, my sister is also weird. I know a lot of people that collect
stuff. Arrowheads, baseball cards, stamps, welfare checks and beanie
babies. My sister collects snowmen. Not actual snowmen, because it
hasn't snowed here in Mississippi since March of '94, but snowmen as
in figurines, christmas ornaments, etc. She has a ton of them.
But I don't understand collecting something that you only bring out
once a year. (wait, that sounds like my sex life)

She always goes shopping for Christmas decorations after Christmas,
you know, 'cause they're discounted. Then, when you go to her house,
she has to show you her new snowmen. This one dances,...and this one
sings, and this one sings Silent Night, and this one farts bubbles.

I agree that they're cute..., they are. See, I agreed. But she has
four hundred of them. And 95% of them are male. I don't know why I
mention that, its just odd.

My sister has two kids. Both boys. And, unlike most mothers in
Mississippi, both of her boys have the same father. Which luckily,
also happens to be her husband.

Sister is a good mom. Her oldest son, he's five or fifteen, or
something, is a whiz on computers. He knows more than me. Unless you
factor in my skill at navigating through porn sites, then I edge him
out a little. But he's really smart, and extremely good looking. He
looks like me.

Her younger son is eight months old, and works at Home Depot. He also
happens to be really smart, even though he shows up to work in just a
diaper and the issued orange apron. His name is Quinton.

Happy Birthday Sister! You are much loved by at least nine people that
I know of. Way to go! Wait, I love you too. That makes ten!

Happy Birthday, and give little Quinton a kiss from Uncle Dave!